Looking Back

Sunrise on Kuantan BeachMy search for meaning in life did not instantly translate as a search for divinity although the address of this homepage gives away the ending right at the beginning. Eager to explore paths not so well-traveled by those around me, I embarked on adulthood and left behind my Midwestern roots to finish college on the East Coast of the U.S.

As a child during the 1960’s, the tumultuous decade was somewhat beyond my immediate reach – although instead of “cowboys and Indians” I played “cops and hippies” with the other children in the neighborhood. The eddies of the cultural revolution happening in my midst did kick in eventually when I went to college. Immersed in social activism, I think I joined and championed just about every political cause one could imagine, with the main focus on feminism. I sought meaning in relationships and career aspirations as well, going to graduate school part-time while working at a library at a prestigious university in Boston. Mostly I would apply myself in a quest for success in a certain goal and quickly ask myself in puzzlement, “Is this really the meaning of life?”

Looking back on it now, I figure that God knew that I was ripe for spirituality when I kept observing how the groups trying to create a better world seemed to just replicate society’s problems on a micro-level. Following a spiritual path patterned on  Sri Chinmoy’s teachings, the wiser quest of changing oneself in order to help change the world one person at a time rings in my life with deepest certainty.  Last year marked the 20th anniversary of when I became a disciple of Sri Chinmoy.

The greatest gift this path has brought me is the slow but steady transition to more and more self-acceptance and love. It has also schooled me in a new outlook on the meaning of life – namely increasing one’s love and closeness with the divinity within and the glory of God singing forth in every corner in the world without. Since my spiritual name is the Bengali word for road, I conclude this short bio with a phrase from a poem I wrote predating receipt of this name,

God for God’s Sake Mantra Breath.
No Other Road to Ignorance Death.